Before we move on, I’ve got a quick quiz for you:
1. Are you feeling like you make changes in your life and relationship but then they don’t stick?
2. Are you worried that things will never get better because your partner won’t make any changes?
3. Do you suffer from constantly questioning yourself and your decisions?
4. Are you so worried about making the wrong decision, that you do nothing?
5. Or maybe you feel so overwhelmed by all the information and advice out there that you feel paralyzed?
6. Is sifting through all the “facts” on the internet making you feel overwhelmed and exhausted and so confused that you’re not sure who to listen to?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then you're in the right place to get the answers you need. I struggled with my “yes” answers to these questions for years. The good news, I’ve figured out actionable tools and strategies so you don’t just learn; you actually make changes that stick.
The key to my success? Having awesome relationships boils down to one thing: having the right skill set.
Self confidence is a skill.
Effective communication is a skill.
Happiness is a skill.
Listening is a skill.
Like any skills, it takes the right information and consistent practice to become good at them.
This means that you can become a self-confident, happy, effective communicator who listens like a boss. You can build connected and fulfilling relationships in your life.
With the right information and those skills I just mentioned, you can build the relationships and life you crave without going to years of therapy or feeling overwhelmed and stressed out.
Here’s to building connected, meaningful and happy relationships… all by yourself.
I’m so happy you’re here because it means you’re ready to DIY your relationship. It means you want to feel happy, confident and fulfilled consistently. Well honey, you're in the right place - cause I'm like the Joanna Gaines of relationships. I'm here to teach you all you need to know to make over your relationship more easily and simply than making over your home.
You and I are a lot alike. We’re both trying to create a life filled with connection and meaning. The problem is that there’s a ton of information out there and about 10,000 opinions of the “best” way to create the happiness you’ve been craving. There are lots of folks trying to get your attention with their program, video, blog post or Facebook feed. Sifting through all the “facts” is exhausting and you’re left feeling overwhelmed, confused and unsure of who to listen to.
I can’t tell you that I know all the right answers. I don’t. I make mistakes just like you. I’ve been known to yell across the playground at one of my kids (yes, I can be just that mature) and I’ve argued to the death with my partner over whose turn it is to walk the dog (it’s always his turn, by the way).
But don’t go away just yet! Because, what I can tell you is that, although I don’t have a bunch of “right” answers, I do have a lot of really great answers, tips, techniques and strategies that can help you create an amazing life.
If we’re going to work effectively together, you’re going to need to trust me and what I’m saying. In the spirit of building that trust and having you get to know me a bit, I’m going to share four secrets about me:
My name is Abby and I’m a research junkie. Yeah, I said it! I’m sure there’s a support group I should be involved with because there’s almost nothing I like more than geeking out with a research journal. The words “evidence-based study” get me pretty close to passing out in ecstasy (don’t judge me, you’re going to benefit from this). I’ve been reading a book a week for about 15 years and I devour blog posts, videos and newsfeeds in my quest to know everything I can about relationships, happiness and what works.
As if that wasn’t enough, I’ve also got about 30 years of actual experience applying all I’ve learned directly with real live people! I’ve been honing my skills and creating easy-to-use systems and techniques that create lasting change (often the very same day you start using them)!
I’ve got a weird background. I’ve got degrees in psychology (which I hope you’d expect) and business (which you might not). It’s this strange combination that gives me a special edge. I’ve been to counselors many times in the course of my life (yes, I come from a crazy family – but don’t tell them I said that), and I was always frustrated with how slow everything went. It seemed like all I did was talk about my past or the same problems over and over again and nothing ever seemed to change long-term. I also couldn’t remember the tools I’d learned in therapy once I was confronted with real situations.
When I started working with people, I vowed to do it differently. When you work with businesses, you don’t have years and years to create change and you have to figure out how to create systems that people can remember and follow. I applied these same principles to counseling: I read all this research, synthesize the information, then create structure and steps that you can follow to create change in a relatively short amount of time.
I’m human. Whew! Glad I got that out there. I’ve had quite an amazing life thus far and it’s been filled with incredible highs and epic fails. I had a bad drug problem when I was younger but getting clean led me to working with addicts, which has been an amazing blessing. I’ve brought people into the world (being a mom is the best) and I’ve lost people I’ve loved with all my heart.
I grew up in NY and have lived as far away as Israel. Right now I live in the Bay Area of California and my kids don’t know what a “snow day” from school is. Worse, one morning on the way to school I asked my son if he had gym that day and his reply was, “Who’s Jim?” My children are growing up in a world that doesn’t seem anything close to what I experienced and I feel like I’m running to catch up every day. I love my man with all my heart, but some days I don’t do a good job of showing it.
I generally know all the right things to do but, like you, I don’t always do what I know. I’m in the struggle with you. I do all this work to make my own life feel awesome. I can tell you that I spend the majority of my time with lots of energy, happiness and fulfillment because I practice everything I preach…consistently.
And here’s my last secret: My business and my mission are centered around one big idea: World peace (don’t adjust your screen, I really did write “world peace”). I believe that if every person in the world used my principles, they’d be happier, find meaning and feel more connected to themselves and others. People who felt like that would have no reason to fight, hate or bully. Following the logic, we’d end up with world peace.
So, thank you so much for stopping by. I promise to do all I can to help you thrive (I did name my business “Abby Medcalf Thriving” after all) and create the life you’ve been yearning for.
Stick with me and let’s go kick some ass!
Looking forward to connecting with you soon,
Dr. Abby Medcalf is a psychologist and life coach who has helped thousands of individuals create meaning and happiness in their lives through counseling, training and the “31 Days to Great Relationships” program. With over 30 years of experience, Abby is a recognized authority and sought-after speaker known for her unique blend of comprehensive research, hands-on experience and humor. She motivates individuals to break through in every relationship so they can lead more enthusiastic and fulfilled lives.
I invite you to join me in creating the relationship that you always knew was possible, but never knew you could have.
Even if your partner won't do anything to build it.
Even if you feel like you've had the same fight over and over and over.
Even if you feel even more alone every time you think about making a change.
I can help. So let's get started.